Communication problems

I found a picture with the following words on “the biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply”. How very true!

Often when I try to talk to someone about a touchy subject it feels as if I am talking against a wall. Especially when it is in a argument. I guess this happens a lot in normal everyday conversations as well.

This feeling makes me want to scream to be honest. It feels as if what I say do not matter. Let’s take my father for example. I stopped smoking because of my health, I could not breathe anymore at night and kept getting sick. All my father can think about is his desire to smoke. I asked him to smoke outside and he tells me he isn’t a dog and that I will not chase him out of his house. He will choose his sigarettes over his family. It is sad but true. What I am saying is that no matter how many times I try to talk to him he is stonewalling me, not truly listening to what I am saying.

We are all guilty of this in one way or the other. I do not even listen to myself and sometimes other people. I have decided to try and listen to understand. To be honest, sometimes I simply don’t know what to say or how to respond even though I understand.

Maybe if we all work on listening to understand there would be less conflict in our lives and more understanding and peace. In my opinion it’s really, really hard but we can all make an effort to do and be better.

A happy place

In our everyday lives, things can get too much.

Yesterday our aftercare venue was moved by the principal of the school. I had to find out through a friend of mine while I was at work.

“your aftercare moved. Your mother is in tears” that was the message I received. Having early-onset dementia, change isn’t always a good thing for my mother. I also hate change. It makes me anxious. And it gets my mother’s mind scrambled upside down and anxious. Which makes her cry.

I hate it when someone cries. I am always at a loss about what I should do. Will just a pat on the back help? What do I say that won’t make the person cry more? (I can be a bit harsh at times). It’s terrible. Anyhow back to the subject.

A lot of last-minute arrangements had to be made. Contacting the teachers and parents etc. Luckily my mother could do that in between the tears.

To make matters worse, when I arrived at the aftercare and fetched the kids from class I lost my car keys. In a panic, we searched everywhere. After hours of searching, we found it in my bag. Believe it or not, but we searched through that bag 6 times. Sigh.

And to top it all off, we had to wait more than an hour for a taxi to pick up 2 kids. The taxi never arrived. It made me very angry. I felt like punching the guy because he is late every damn day.

On days such as these, I like to go to my “happy place” in my mind as well as my physical happy place. I love chickens. Besides a dog, a chicken is always loyal. Even if it’s just for food. Ha ha. Picturing courageous (see my story “be courageous”) always makes me feel better as a feeling of happiness comes to me. At my physical happy place, there’s Geese, ducks, loads of chickens and all sorts of other animals.

This helps me to calm down when I get worried, anxious or when I have a bad day and so on. I believe that all of us should have a “happy place” where we can escape to.

Ps. My grammar and punctuation suck, but that’s nothing new! 🙂

Be grateful

Today I am grateful that I am alive. I am grateful that I have an income. I am grateful to have a roof over my head.

In our daily lives we can forget to be grateful for what we have. When issues and struggles shows up we just stare straight into it without realizing that all aren’t bad. That there is still things that is working out, that is running smoothly.

Whatever you situation is, think some positives out for the situation. Or something to be grateful for.