I found a picture with the following words on “the biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply”. How very true!
Often when I try to talk to someone about a touchy subject it feels as if I am talking against a wall. Especially when it is in a argument. I guess this happens a lot in normal everyday conversations as well.
This feeling makes me want to scream to be honest. It feels as if what I say do not matter. Let’s take my father for example. I stopped smoking because of my health, I could not breathe anymore at night and kept getting sick. All my father can think about is his desire to smoke. I asked him to smoke outside and he tells me he isn’t a dog and that I will not chase him out of his house. He will choose his sigarettes over his family. It is sad but true. What I am saying is that no matter how many times I try to talk to him he is stonewalling me, not truly listening to what I am saying.
We are all guilty of this in one way or the other. I do not even listen to myself and sometimes other people. I have decided to try and listen to understand. To be honest, sometimes I simply don’t know what to say or how to respond even though I understand.
Maybe if we all work on listening to understand there would be less conflict in our lives and more understanding and peace. In my opinion it’s really, really hard but we can all make an effort to do and be better.