I do not trust anybody. It is really hard for me. I struggle to be social and prefer my own company. A lone wolf so to speak. In my viewpoint people hurt. So I am slow to make friends. And when I choose you as a friend I am really committed. I will always be there for the person no matter what.
For the last 3 years I had a friend. She’s twenty years older than me. We met through her mother and became friends quick. We did everything together and so on. we were really close. She fell on hard times and I did everything I could to support her. She sold her vehicle and soon became reliant on me to take her everywhere. I came to arranging my life around her, so that I could be there and help her where I can.
As it happened she met someone. I were really glad for her. The sad thing about this new development was that she put me and my family aside. I/ we were just not good anymore, he did everything for her. She stopped talking to me. If we communicated it just wasn’t the same and the messages became farther and farther apart as our friendship.
So, I felt used, betrayed and hurt beyond measure. I rarely make friends,and here she comes and just destroy everything. As I sit and write, all my wounds are scratched open again.
She became real chatty the last few weeks. I wondered why and found out that the boyfriend left her, because he felt she just used him. Does this mean that I am good enough again???
Anyway, the person I really want to tell you about is my sister. I realized something that I should have realized a long time ago. My sister is my best friend. She will never drop me. Never betray my trust, will always be there for me no matter what happens. My sister is my safety net. The one that I can always talk to without being judged. Do you know she says I love you every 5minutes? I asked her why and she told me that she’s afraid that we might die and she did not say she love me. There is nothing that she would not do for me and the same from my side. She is always ready with a plan when I messed up or just do not know what to do. Most of the time I feel that I do not deserve her love. In my previous post I mentioned that I am a really difficult person to live with. I get irritated quickly. I can be quite impatient and Intolerant just to name a few. And she is still at my side. She accepts me just as I am. I feel I don’t deserve her love. How can someone love and believe so much in me?
I love her so much. She is my anchor. I only wish that I realized this sooner. I would do anything for her .
This is what a true friend is.