Running

A wolf is running over endless green fields, the wind blowing through her fur, feeling how her muscles work harder to run faster, feeling endless freedom and joy.
I dream this quite often when I feel pushed in a corner, frustrated and depressed. It is such a nice dream, I want to cry when I wake up realizing that it is just a dream.
A wolf represents freedom to me. They are free and THEY are the predators and haveno fear of other predators hunting them.

Nowadays I just feel to run away from everything. It feels like a very dark cloud is moving with me above my head. Depression is an awful thing to have.
My mother has Vascular Dementia and Bipolar. It is hard to handle and process everything even though she has been diagnosed over a year ago with Vascular Dementia. There is a lot of crying, temper tantrums, confusion and hurt on both sides.
I feel ashamed to say that I feel everything is always about her. No thought goes to the rest of us, the family. Our needs, wants and worries. A lot of families feel like this. And it is normal to go through feelings such as this. It is a phase that they go throughgh. Acceptance is hard.


On the sidelines, I struggle to keep all my balls in the air and to get my overactive brain to be quiet.I am struggling with patience and I am tired of all the sh@t and drama every day. Sometimes I feel utterly lonely in all of this, but at the same time, I do not want to talk about it all. It is contradicting I know.
I just feel like running. running from everything that’s bothering me. It is sad because I am not a person to run away from my problems. It’s hard to get up out of bed in the mornings to face the day.
In the end, I know that we all will get through everything but getting there is hard.
That’s all for now till later 🙂
PS. excuse my grammar and punctuation.

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