Today I feel so irritated, frustrated and angry. I don’t know why exactly, but I woke up on the wrong side of bed in a manner of speaking.
I woke up to a radio that was turned on too loud. That started my irritation like a volcano that’s erupting violently.
I haven’t been sleeping for the last few weeks because of a consistent cough that doesn’t stop, keeping me up all night. So, the whole day I have been walking around like a lion with a sore tooth.
This afternoon I wanted cake and decided to go and bake one. That was a horrible disaster. My cake did not even raise. It stayed flat like a damn pancake. To make it worse it stuck to the pan and broke into pieces when I tried to get it out of the pan.
Well then. The cake flopped, but there’s still the icing to look forward to that my sister is busy making. Lordy, that was even more of a flop than my cake.
I ended up dividing the pieces of cake between us and threw the watery icing over it like a sauce.
Over the last 3 weeks I have lost most of my silkie chickens and some chicks due to cold weather. It’s a big loss for me.
A month earlier my partner that owns the chickens with me wants to sell a few of our breeding pairs because she can’t bring her share financially anymore.
It feels like I am losing my dream to breed and make an income out of my precious chickens that I am so fond of. It makes me angry and frustrated. What will I lose next?
I wonder what it means to be truly happy and carefree.
Lots of circumstances contribute to me feeling like this, mixed in with a bit of depression. Hopefully this will pass soon.
With days such as this, I wish I could be alone, far away from other people.
I feel like I want to howl like a lone wolf on top of a mountain.